i won't start doing things, unless everything is perfect and ready to go
i am scared of my own capacity; i am not scared of failure, i am scared of success
when people know your ability and capacity, YES there is pressure to be fabulous
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
aku ingin mara kehadapan,
aku ingin bangun penuh kompidan (hehe)
aku ingin setiap luahan ilham
menjadi inspirasi semua insan
jangan katakan ini erti kehidupan
jangan katakan semua ini adalah kebaikan
padahal aku tau dimana letak kemahiranku
jadi jangan, jangan hancurkan impianku.
Dariah; 4:24 PM
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
i have made a discovery, or rather i have re-discovered myself. ok this is what happened today.
i did my workout (after being sedentary for 6 months), then i was curious on how much calories i burnt; how much i should burn perday, perweek. one lead to another, i realised that this is what i wanted to do.. this is what i signed the contract for; to study people, study women's health, calculate their fitness and health, their well-being as a whole.
i've revisited diets on special population like pregnant women. the informations from Uni just rushed through my veins... and IT-FELT-AWESOME!!!
I want to feel like this everyday, every week, every moment of my whole career
Dariah; 6:08 AM
Monday, May 24, 2010
i went to stadium this afternoon..
on the way there, i was feeling anxiety.. was conscious of the public.. i felt shy, and out of place..
that was weird because stadium used to be my playground...
regardless, i went for it and i had a blast... i did some ladders and jump rope... 30 minutes... that was good enough for my first attempt.
i shall do it again tomorrow (if i don't feel sore that is~) hehe
owh yeah, on the way home, i was still sweating.. still feeling the anxiety... hahah antah napa ya kah...
Dariah; 7:03 PM
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
something happened today...
i feel uplifted, re-born and refresh..
earlier today i went out with Arifin.. we joked around and had alot of fun... although our outings always last for couple of hours but it was always good..
then, later at night, i've watched a movie from my collection.. it cried, i laughed, i just felt relieved.. gosh.. i forgot how a movie could actually does that..
it makes me think about where i am now; work, relationship, dreams...
finally i can get to bed at ease..
Dariah; 11:03 PM
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
today is the 12th.. 6 more months till my wedding, our wedding.. Arifin and i..
Arifin showed me his side of Wedding Invitation Card.. i absolutely adore it... the big day is slowing getting real now..
YES, i am excited
love love
Dariah; 9:44 PM
so i went to the doctor..
i have low blood pressure, possibly slightly anemic..
i am glad i went with Arifin, i couldn't deal with this health problem without his support..
Dariah; 9:42 PM
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
health condition:
1. had 3 heart-burn this morning
2. nausea every night.
3. light-headed everyday
4. sharp pain in my chest, close to my heart
5. occasionally 'almost'-fainting feeling
seeing a doctor tomorrow
Dariah; 9:40 PM
Monday, May 10, 2010
lots of questions in my head..
"never doubt your own capabilities" - one's said..
i am to that extend.. normally when there is an opportunity, i catch it with a heart-beat. now, i have doubts.. i questioned myself.. which leads to being terrified of any challenges ahead, i don't know what i want, indicisive.. this is not me..
searching for 'me'
now i am tired making sense of my feelings
Dariah; 11:13 PM
i think i need to play the keyboard again... i miss playing with Keysha... keeps my mind cool and relax..
i shall unbox it tomorrow.
Dariah; 10:13 PM
come to think of it, i don't normally run away from problems... i normally focus on solution seconds after i discover the existence of a problem..
what is happening to me?
i thirst for challenges, yet i am scared if i am put upon it..
i thirst for changes, yet i am scared of the unknown..
running away from problems..
the thing is, where to?
i want to relive the moments where:
every word i said feels like a shooting star
every step i made feels like sea breeze in sunset
every problem i faced feels like an opportunity to be better
i used to have my own standards,
i don't have any..
Dariah; 9:20 PM
siapa diriku?
apakah sifatku?
apakah keinginanku?
apakah impianku?
apa erti kebahagian?
ingin ku capai impian, tetapi kebahagian tergadai..
ingin ku capai kebahagian, impian ku tergadai..
izinkan ku mengerti apa yang berlaku..
aku hilang arah hingga tak kenal diri..
apa yang kita inginkan, insyaAllah di makbulkan oleh Allah
jikalau memakan masa, ertinya Allah menguji kita
jika apa yang kita dapat berlainan dari yang di impikan, Allah menunjukkan jalan yang lebih baik..
sememangnya aku ingin mengerti,
tapi, aku sendiri tidak mengerti 'aku'..
Dariah; 9:05 PM
aku berdiri
aku tertanya, 'di mana keberadaan ku?'
tiada yang dapat menjawapku,
tiada orang di sekeliling ku..
aku cuba berjalan kehadapan,
mencari sempadan,
ingin ku gapai destinasiku,
semakin ku hulur, semakin jauh..
di mana keberadaan ku?
aku cuba tegakan senyuman,
aku cuba kuatkan iltizam,
tapi air mata tak tertahan,
tawa ku berakhir dengan tangisan..
tahukah mereka keberadaanku?
tahukah mereka di mana aku?
sedarkah mereka jika aku hilang?
namun, siapa kah aku, apakah kedudukan ku untuk mereka ambil peduli..
Dariah; 6:37 PM
Thursday, May 06, 2010
heheheee... siapa gi cute? kucing ka, aku??
i was really anticipating for today's outing.. i had a rough week and it is time to let of some steam.. i went shopping.. aheeee... i went out with Sis Dahlia and niece Siti-lewey-si-pipi-lepew...
we went to indoor stadium.. ohohohoooo.. alot of batek there.. errrmmmm i bought two... and they are drop-dead-gorgeous.. and i am not just saying that.. ahee..
then then, we went to KnickKnacks (sp?), aheee saw that cute cat... it has my smile :) hahaha..
thank god tomorrow is Friday
Dariah; 8:51 PM
Wednesday, May 05, 2010
something happened today...
i cried... infront of a group of highly educated people (these are the good guys).
one of them: are you ok Dariah? me: i don't feel very well them: aaawww then, you don't have to come for today, its fine me: (silence)
then i sat down, i looked at them... i couldn't hold it in anymore, i burst into tears... i couldn't breathe... i couldn't mouth a single word... i had to take few minutes to calm down... i've confessed my problem to them..
ok this is my position: i did my best to do my job, it is out of my element, but still i give my ultimate best... but having no one to support me, no one believe in what i do; how am i suppose live day by day... on top of that i am being punished for being more knowledgeable, upfront, confident and brave person.
my feeling is beautifully written in this song
Dariah; 6:15 PM
Monday, May 03, 2010
i love love LOVE my ferrari laptop... and and i bought a Puma laptop bag.. aheeeee...
ehem2.. semangat tah ku buat keraja ni.. hahaha statement masa jadi student
Dariah; 7:08 PM
Saturday, May 01, 2010
the picture says it all
Dariah; 9:35 PM
Bits & Pieces
Dariah 24
Leo Bruneian Sport Scientist
Fitness Enthusiast
PE Teacher
Inspired by everyone
A concise perfectionist
Always finishes everything she started
Things That Never Change
i love my husband
i love my family
i love my bestfriend
i love my cats
punctual, very
hates waiting