Tuesday, October 14, 2008
fees staying on campus increases 'again' for next semester
first year i came here: $270/week = $1080
second year: $300/week = $1200
third year (next year): $325/week = $1300
my allowance from scholarship (including traveling fees) = $1114.
HOW ON EARTH AM I GOING TO SUPPORT MYSELF????????
how am i going to cover my monthly expense? all the essential stuffs... even just the basic stuffs..
how
how how??? i don't have time to work.. actually SCHOLARS are NOT allowed to work... so how... i worry so much... it is beyond my control... i don't want to ask money from my parents.. i don't... i refuse... i called mom... i worried so much that i cried... i cried like i was on my knees and head down, looked hopeless and defeated... breathless and speechless...
ok, imagine if you are in my position.
asking money from your mother who supports other 11 children... from babies till adulthood...
i am under scholarship, and i am asking for more money? it is like working and asking my mum for more money... that is not right...
i observe my mom supporting all 12 of us, all she care about is our happiness. she neglects her needs and focus on every single one of us. she doesn't care if her clothings are outdated, as long as we look happy and have good education, that is happiness to her.
now, thinking back about ME having money crisis... i just....i couldn't... i don't know what to say.... i don't want to be a burden...
so... i cried...
i cried while i was on the phone with mom...
i didn't say much to her... i just cried...
i couldn't even ask for help, i feel so bad...
i... i... :'(
...didn't expect it to be this difficult
Dariah; 10:03 PM
