Monday, May 19, 2008
i was talking to this one lady. we had a normal conversation for quite sometime, then she asked "are you stress Dahriah? uni work is getting into you?"..
i burst into tearsi cried so hard like someone has broken my heart. i was hyperventilating, couldn't mouth a single word. i looked horrible.
she continued, "do you need someone to help you organise your study time?". that stroke me. i asked myself, "do i?" then, i replied "no, it is not that.. i organise my study time just fine"
as the talk went on, i cried even louder.
have i reached my limit? do i need professional help? is it that bad?i don't know.
i am not sure why i brought it up, especially pouring it to that random lady. poor lady, she must think that i am a troubled woman.
i am trying to see the good side of this incident. i usually didn't let my problems get into me, and today my problems got the best of me.
ok let see what the problems are
stress, why? = increasing uni workload.
why am i so stress about uni? = time constrain
how so? = exam is in less than a month, minus weekends (at work) meaning only about 5 days to revise per unit. alongside with that uni is still running as normal. as uni runs as normal, projects, assignments, reports due one after another. hence revision time is vital.
out of focus, why? = not enjoying gym as much, worry about uni work.
tired, why? = not enough sleep, terribly interupted.
i won't settle with credits or grade C as you may call it. so am i asking for this trouble? making my self stress because i ask too much out of myself?
another side issue,lack of self-esteem, why? = gain few inches, linked to lack of exercise. some people even confronted me saying that i've gain weight
WITH A SMILE. (apparently people like to do this to me, when i gain weight, there you go lots of people telling me i look fat. then when i was all toned, NONE approached me, saying that i've lost weight. you people don't know how psychologically disturbed i've become with weight issue from childhood, thanks guys) not to forget also, my constant fight with acne. same reaction from people.
i'm slowly approaching my breaking point. i might've reached it already.
...all i know, i am not a quiter.. that's that...
Dariah; 4:48 PM
